Friday, July 22, 2011

THE EX FILES BY PHATIEI


Out with friends the other day, we happened to stumble upon the topic of exes and at a point I realized we hadn't had any conversation that day as thrilling as the who-dated-who conversation. As in the topic kept us happy and laughing for hours....
A weird ex/fling/snog/whatever can leave an intoxicating smudge on ones social résumé. When you're married or in a long term relationship, or just a lil bit older and wiser, that unfortunate association you once enjoyed suddenly seems a bit......... Well, unbelievable. I mean your "now" self wouldn't even dream of dating that person. Hell, your now self may not even walk across the road to say hello to them. In my opinion, the "embarrassing" ex is just a lil too revealing of your true self, showing a side of your character you might want to keep hidden- which is basically what makes it such a rich seam of discussion.

There are just soooo many ways to slip up.... 
The Flashy Ex- you know, the arm candy that looked real good at events and stuff but less so to take home to meet Mama.
The Slippery Ex- that couldn't make plans any further than 24hrs in advance.  They think texting/calling is a pain. Their priorities were in stone and clearly but sadly, you weren't one of them.
The Obnoxious Ex- the insufferable/ loathsome ones that had no idea there was a whole world outside their ass holes... *rme*
The Judgemental Ex- the holier-than-thou's always on complain mode. The last thing you need is a paragon of perfection nagging you at every available moment.
The Loose-Lipped Ex- the ones who are always happy to chat about you and your entire relationship to anyone and everyone that will listen. Blabbermouth.
The Clueless Ex- that never heard of the word "space". I mean if you must smother me, at least be a darling and make it quick now, grab a pillow or something.
The Party Ex- that believes a party aint a party till you puke your guts out. They're never ashamed of their behaviour the night before cos........well they can't remember it. They were there for a good time.
The Cheap Ex- that always keeps a pen handy to make sure the cost of dates and stuff are always split; 50/50 or may even point out you ate more so..... 40/60 perhaps??
The Questionable Ex- that maps out your entire family tree together after the first week. O_O *cutting out*
The Insecure Ex- that are quite the charmers at first but soon the sweet smell of their perfume starts to reek of desperation. They start to need constant reassurance that you aren't seeing anyone else, they say your friends don't like them but do nothing to win them over. *whew*

which can you relate to and which do you think you fall under?? C'mon don't be shy people, it’s my post so I get a free pass ;)
...Phatiei

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