HAIR FEVER!! (THE NEW HAY FEVER ??) - *CRITIC-AL' SERIES

Okay. Let me address this situation.

What’s with all the ‘human hair’ craze? What’s with all the hype and advert in all female magazines I read? What’s with all the ‘YOU MUST HAVE!!’ attitude people put towards this issue? Why do people keep giving this impression that anyone seen on synthetic hair is financially inferior to the person wearing processed human hair? I don’t get it… I’m confused.

Ok. Before the people who thought of processing human hair strands into sustainable styles that can be worn as wigs and weaves, weren’t we making  our hair and looking beautiful at it? When I go through my pictures and I see hairstyles I made with synthetic hair extensions and compare them to the ones I made with ‘human’ hair extensions, I even admire the former a lot more. 

People who write on beauty, style and fashion columns are always over the moon on the advantages of human hair to synthetic hair. True that, so I don’t need to go over its advantages all over again. But they forget so soon that synthetic hair has its share of advantages and she’d been there for us for a long while (#poor synthetic hair, I wonder how she feels right now *sad face* LOL). Apart from the fact that it’s cheaper and comes in a wider range of styles and colours, synthetic hair also comes in different grades. Some are so well processed and if maintained properly can give you a desirable look that can also be worn more than once. Besides, me thinks synthetic hair gives more body to your hairstyle. The strands are thicker and the split ends are fuller, than our natural human hair. Synthetic hair also stays ‘in style’ much longer than human hair extensions. If you want it curly or straight, it stays that way for days, unlike human hair that stays ‘in style’ for a couple of hours and you have to re-visit the salon more often. 

So what the heck??!! Why should you always put that hole in your pocket or dip so far just to achieve a look that you can manipulate? We could at least be savvy, until we don’t have to stress our finances to acquire a full head pack! I mean, if you are a mother with kids and you have countless, continuous bills to sort out everyday, or you have a serious occasion and you just can’t fish out enough money to buy yourself some human hair extensions (at the time), or you are financially constrained and you still wanna get the ‘state of the art’ look, would you rip yourself in shreds? You can still fall back on your old reliable.

Hey! I’m not exonerated here, please. I’m also victim of the human hair craze. But recently, I estimated the amount of money I spend on human hair pieces and I have just decided to control my appetite a little bit, before it wears out my (little) savings. And I thought to share my ideas with whosoever is interested.

You can get good quality synthetic hair. It doesn’t have to be Brazilian, Indian, Peruvian, Malaysian, Italian, Romanian, Asian…… before you can actually look as good. Synthetic hair CAN also look nice.

How to take care of synthetic hair?

Firstly, use products designated for synthetic hair only. Most times, why many people have their hair tangling everywhere even before they are out of the salon, is because they buy hair creams and products that are manufactured mainly for use on their natural hair. These chemicals don’t go down well with these synthetic fibers and get them unnecessarily tangled. When buying hair care products for synthetic hair, buy products that do not have herbs or natural ingredients in them. This is because it is synthetic hair and doesn’t need natural ingredients to ‘survive’. Thanks.

Secondly, use hair oil and hair sheen on your synthetic hair. Avoid hair sprays, hair hold(s) or hair lotions. Because sometimes, they may also contain ingredients that suit natural hair only and you might not like the results you get, okay?? 

Hair rollers which are being used on human hair extensions can also be used on synthetic hair extensions. These are mostly necessary before you go to bed at night. Reason being, it’s usually at night when the hair is being put in the night cap, that it gets tangled. So before you throw your hair in the night cap, put some rollers on. And you have to roll it in smaller pieces, than you would do for human hair. Synthetic hair is bulkier and I’m sure you won’t want to be uncomfortable in your sleep, would you? Rollers can also be kept on during the day, when you are indoors or lying idle. And if you know how to roll neatly, you don’t have to take them off before you walk down to a neighbor’s, the supermarket or the grocery store. Rollers are really not an eye sore.

Water is a major NO! NO!!. Please, use a shower cap whenever you have your bath. Synthetic hair is not water friendly and shouldn’t be near water, not even the tiniest drops. You can also put your rolled hair in the shower cap and un-roll afterwards. If you happen to get splashed with water or come across a rainstorm, you can take your hair off and dry it up before re-fixing or you use a hand drier to thoroughly dry it up, from the scalp and roots of the hair. The ends don’t usually soak in any of the water, as they are usually brittle and the water glides down (unlike human hair extensions that take in water all the way down).

Regular oiling is mandatory. With synthetic hair, you have to oil daily, because moisture rubs of more easily on synthetic hair extensions. So, oil these hair extensions as often as you can. And if you have your natural hair covering the fixed area, you can oil it separately with your daily hair care routine, use a hair straightener before you oil your synthetic hair and style them all together. Hope you get me?

Do not wear your synthetic hair out. Once the hair needs to be retired, please retire it. Don’t get too carried away with the looks of the hair and forget that it has aged and run its full course, which (usually) is not more than 6-8 months.

Lastly, you don’t have to act all ‘I’m not looking up-to-it’ or ‘Yes, everyone knows its synthetic hair’ when you fix it on. The truth is, some of them look so good, that most people can’t even tell the difference. We can deceive them a bit, can’t we? *winks*. Don’t be let down by these ideas and advertisement captions that stress out the fact that synthetic hair is for people who can’t afford human hair pieces. For me, as long as it LOOKS good, it IS good. So carry yourself, like someone who knows she’s looking good. Afterall, your natural hair is also a kind of ‘human’ hair. So what the heck?? LMAO. 

 

Whatever hair you’re on, just don’t go around looking like an eye sore. Plssssss…… *batting eyelashes*

Yours humbly, 

critic

               

LIP DRAMA - the critic-al' series by MARY

There’s a re-occurring trend I’ve been coming across really often, lately, and I (as your confirmed Critic) cannot help but bare it all.

When I was younger, say 4-6 years old (Oh! That’s less than 20 years ago, by the way) my mum used a lot of red and orange and burgundy and dimmed-gold and purple and fuchsia pink lipsticks. Oh! And she really rocked ‘em. She had every colour to match every outfit. Sometimes, she’d have the same colour on her nails. It was so so pretty. That was my idea of a woman. I bet if you asked me : “Who is a woman??” I’d have answered: “A woman is a pretty lady who’s got curls in her hair and brightly colored lipstick on matching nail polish”.

Growing older and sinking into my couch of womanhood, things changed. It was all about enhancing your natural skin tone and getting the perfect shade of lipstick that’s close to your natural lip colour. At some point, lip-liners became more mandatory. You know…… Lining your lips with a mild brown or burgundy pencil and then getting sheer lip-gloss in an almost natural shade, was the trend. We also drifted into using milder colours of nail polish, to enhance the natural nail colour.

Now…… The trend of BOLD colored lip colors and nail polish is back. Maybe not to stay, but I see them everywhere. Especially worn at night, with glittering outfits to match. And some of my gender-mates DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT know how to rock it like my mama did. And it’s quite sad that these are the days when we have more options, more variety, more advanced cosmetology, more experienced make-up artistes and make-up outlets. It hurts…… (my eyes mostly). If ‘we’ must “rock this look”, we can at least do it right.  

What’s with the scary look. Like I see you and I go “Ahh……!!!” Especially when they take pictures on night-outs and the camera flashes on the lip colour. It can be a very sickening sight.

Why don’t you walk into a cosmetic shop and try out the shades before you buy. You can get the advice of a make-up stylist ( hey! I tried not to use the word ‘professional’ here, so you don’t begin to run thinking about the cost). Testing is free when you’re buying, so it’s savvy too. Plus, you are sure you won’t spend your hard-earned money and have a negative result, so you get your money’s worth.

You can also know the colours that suit you best and work on similar shades. The colours suits depending on your skin tone, so you can work with that. Try also to get colours that do not mask you beauty, but give you this ‘mystic’ look. *winks

Needless to say, these bold colours are not for everybody. So don’t even try to make it work, if it doesn’t work well on you.

All my life, in my search for bold and glam make-up, I’ve found only one red lipstick that fits me and I love it, so I hunt it down no matter where. And I don’t even try to experiment others, because I end up looking like I have something missing, as soon as I put them on. I envy my friends when I see them flaunt various ‘tempting’ shades of bold lip colour *sad face*, but I won’t even dream because I know most of them won’t even fit me now. So take a cue from me ladies. I mean, you can’t have it all.

And when you’re not sure about what that lipstick is going to do to your face or your outfit, just rub it off and go on sheer gloss, pending when you can acquire the one that makes everybody go: “WOW!! Rock the sixties babaay”. A wrong shade of nail polish is easier to manage and can be excused just because it isn’t starring in everybody’s face. But be sure to take it off once you don’t feel too comfy with it.

Lastly, not every trend MUST be followed. So you can stick to whatever suits you, as long as you do it right.

                                                 

TRUE COLOUR - THE CRITIC-AL' SERIES ... by mary takon

I’m black. I’m proud. I’m comfortable…… In my skin.

I like Mrs. Da-Silva. She’s a very dutiful colleague. Beautiful, attractive, always in smiles, has a solution to every administrative problem at work, God-fearing, respects humanity, generous…… Plus, she has this exquisite collection of shoes and bags that I’m sure every young fashion-loving girl, like me, would kill for.

So, Mrs. Da-Silva invited me over to lunch at her place one day. I felt honored. Apparently, she wanted to hook me up with this ‘eligible’ bachelor, whom she felt would help me in accomplishing my dreams, someday. (I wonder what she was thinking. ‘Cos, at the time, I didn’t even know what my dreams were).

I wore my pretty Sunday dress and didn’t forget to buy a bottle of Rose wine, which I had discovered was her favorite. And you can trust me when I say: Lunch was good…… Soooo gooood! She’s a really good cook. Little or no wonder why her husband was so chubby. I mean, with a wife who cooks that well, one would need strict discipline on appetite control. I was munching my way down from appetizer to desert, that I barely had time to assess my ‘potential’ suitor. Afterwards, we all sat down to drink our Rose wine and we started having a non-gossip chit-chat. That was when she started telling us about her younger days and thought it would be nice to share some pictures with us, just so that we would come to terms with most of the things she had been trying so hard to explain. Then the questions started pouring in……

You see, Mrs. Da-Silva is a light-skinned lady. So light, that I would sometimes wonder if she had white blood, in her. And whenever I asked, she’ll chuckle and answer: “No, dear. Just the way God made me”. This, I got to discover that day, was a blatant lie! Mrs. Da-Silva was born: BLACK. So black, that when she took pictures at night, you could only see her eyeballs and her teeth (i.e. when she was smiling).

I was so shocked that I had to ask: “Sorry ma, but did you say these were your pictures?”

And she happily replied: “Yes dear. I’m sure you are surprised to find out I had such an exciting childhood. I travelled all around the world, I wore the best clothes, and I went to the best schools…… My parents were quite sophisticated, you know……”

And my ‘suitor’ interrupted, blurting the words out: “Madam, why were you so dark and how did you become so light-skinned? Don’t tell me you are one of those people who bleached their skin tone? Because I think bleaching is not only irritating but also un-called for.”

And there was dead silence in the room.

I usually have myself a good laugh, whenever I come across some of my fellow colored people doing their thing. If you ask me, I’d say it’s just unexplainable. Yes! UNEXPLAINABLE.

When I see fellow blacks who’ve got veins popping out their dermis, as if shouting “MARY! MARY!!” ……When I see red and black patches developing on a mid-tone negro……When I see an ebony friend suddenly turned into a funny shade of ivory…… I wonder what they are thinking!! I mean, you have this legendary tone and you just wish u could do away with it??!! C’mon guys…… When are we going to get a grip on ourselves? What’s with all the craze and hype for a lighter skin colour?? The craze popularly called ‘Bleaching’, in this part of the world. In my opinion, it’s all crap!!

Ok. On a regular day, why not take a look at a black lady’s (men aren’t completely ruled out) cosmetic products. I can bet you’ll see descriptive captions like: Brightening, Whitening, Lightening, Complexion Toning, Maxi-Tone, Quick action, Fast action…… It goes on and on. The interesting part is that most of these cosmetics are gotten at very cheap prices and eventually do more harm (than good) to the skin. Most of the attractive claims that make some of us want to fill our bath-tub with these cosmetics and swim in them all day long, don’t even turn out so ‘FANTASTIC!!’.

We see light-skinned folks burning themselves up in the sun at every opportunity they get to sunlight. We sometimes watch them go through the stress of using tanning lotions and sprays. Oh yes! I haven’t forgotten the Spray tanning machine which is designed solely for browning the skin. Some even come out looking so orange, like blotchy leather, after they’ve over done the tan. And they are stuck with the look for a couple of days. *smh. And their daily cosmetic products include darkening agents, such as: Cocoa butter, Shea butter, Aloe Vera and even Vitamin E!! (#Yea, vitamin E darkens) All in the bid to tone down the whitish pigment they have. And someone tells me not to love my brown skin? In whatever shade it comes? NEVER!!

Let’s trash this issue from the root. Time, history and biological selection has made it in such a way that we are naturally found in the tropics. Although, in some parts of the world, previous ancient activities transferred a good number of us to places that our ancestors had no name, heritage or origin. Temperate regions, to be precise. And that’s that. Nevertheless, what makes us ‘colored’ is the fact that we have pigment-producing cells called melanin in our skin that produces more of eumelanin than phaeomelanin. Darker skin types produce more eumelanin and whiter skin types contain more phaeomelanin. (Enough biology for one day, eh?)

Apart from the fact that eumelanin gives us a peculiar and particularly browner skin tone, it has numerous advantages. In hot times, darker skinned people lose more water through the skin. This may be an evolutionary change where darker-skinned individuals tended to live in hotter areas of the world and lighter skinned people lived in colder countries. Therefore, as more water leaves the skin it has a better cooling effect. Darker skin has more layers of the epidermis than whiter skin. People of colour also have higher protection to the sun, than whites. Yea. We ‘coloureds’ are walking SPF 13.4 s, compared to whites, whose natural SPF is 3.3. Meaning, for every sunscreen we use, we have an additional SPF of 10.1 than any Caucasian using that same sunscreen. It gives us higher resistance to skin diseases, thereby making us less susceptible to some terrible skin diseases. This gives our epidermis more protection to harsh weather conditions. Eumelanin helps the skin retain its brownish tone. So we don’t blush at every embarrassing statement or turn white when we are cold (no offence guys). Eumelanin gives our skin more elasticity and firmness. Yea, people of colour do not wrinkle that quickly and we age less. It also makes colored skin less susceptible to cold damage than whites. Unfortunately, most of us don’t appreciate these benefits we derive from eumelanin. And I wonder why.

I know most of us blacks like to repair the damages that our harsh weather wreaks on our natural skin tone, but we can at least do it in moderation.  I know that the harsh sun rays sometimes burn so hard on our skin that we might get darker than we naturally are. I also know that the harmattan gets so dry sometimes, that we lose our healthy glow. But there are always ways around it.

You must learn to use a sunscreen every time you have to get in the sun. I know it’s a difficult habit to adopt, so if you can stay out of the sun, then that would work even better. Any sun exposure between 11.00a.m - 4p.m/4.30p.m can get you a fair share of daily sun burn. When getting a sunscreen, get one that protects the skin from both UVA and UVB rays. The potency of the sunscreen is measured based on its SPF (Sun Protection Factor). A higher SPF ensures higher protection. But anything between SPF 15-SPF 50 is suitable for a black skin. Like I mentioned earlier, Negros have a natural SPF 10.1 embedded in their skin. This is our natural protection from the harmful rays of the sun, in the tropics, but more protection definitely works the difference.

Exfoliate. Exfoliation works wonders. Most of the dullness and unnecessary ‘brownness’ of a black skin can come from the large amount of dead cells on the epidermis. Get an exfoliating salt (sea salt), which can be used once a week. You can also get an exfoliating soap or body scrub and use 3-4 times a week. There are exfoliating bath gloves, too. These are easy to use while in the bath or shower and can be used daily, because they exfoliate the skin more evenly.

Use natural complexion clarifiers, if you have to. There is a wide range, from Oatmeal to Licorice extract to Burberry extract to Milk (Goat or Cow) to Papaya to Vitamin C…… Name them. Cucumber works well for the eye area. The advantages of using these natural skin lighteners is that they do not ‘bleach’ the skin and take off its natural colour, they restore the skins original pigment and help it to bounce back after the natural colour has been threatened by harsh weather conditions. They also help to blend the skin tone and make it even. This is important in cases where there is a noticeable imbalance in a person’s skin tone, due to natural or artificial causes. Now, most of these natural skin lighteners may be difficult to find in their natural state (Goat milk, for example). What I suggest is that you opt for cosmetic products that have these natural skin clarifiers as their primary active ingredient or component.

Eat well. A balanced diet works for the skin. It gives the skin all its natural vitamins and ingredients it needs to have that glow. Fruits and veggies (especially when eaten without being cooked) work wonders on the skin. Drinking lots of water also helps to hydrate and moisturize the skin. Green tea is a natural detoxicant. It detoxifies the skin off impurities and keeps it looking clean and fresh. Food supplements also help to make up for nutrients that may have been omitted in our diet. Why not take these nutrients in and have them work from the inside out? So you can acquire this ‘glow’ you really crave for. What goes in, definitely shows on the outside, you know.

If your skin has already been damaged by skin bleaching agents, there is very little you can do to correct the damages. I will suggest you get to a dermatologist have some proper tests run, on your skin. The results of the test will determine what type of treatment you will receive. Nevertheless, you must stop using any of these products, immediately. Do not believe that one lightening product will help to repair the damages caused by another. Do not listen to recommendations from people about what worked for their damaged skin and what didn’t. This is because your skin type, tone and requirements may be completely different from theirs. JUST GET TO A DERMATOLOGIST.

One of the first signs of noticing that your skin is being damaged by harsh chemical products is getting easily bruised at a slight cut or grazing of the skin. And when some of these sores or injuries take a longer period to heal than they normally would, that (my friends) is a “STOP!!” sign.

Or when you start having sunburn on your face, otherwise known as black under-eye patches, then that is also a "STOP!!" sign.

By the way, I need not mention that after my ‘suitor’ bluntly embarrassed my darling Mrs. Da-Silva, I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me: RUN FOR YOUR FACE!! Because her frown not only spelt out how upset she was, but also, how upset that I may be getting quite often (if I decide to take the young man a bit more seriously). All said, I believe there are many Mrs. Da-Silva(s) who had their natural skin colour changed and got away with it. These cases are really rare and I must commend you guys for your boldness. Remember that cases of skin cancer abound these days and I really do hope you have an explanation for your grand kids when you show them your childhood pictures. *winks*

Me, I’m happy. I’m black. I’m proud. I’m comfortable…… In my skin

THE CRITIC-AL’ SERIES... (2)

ROYGBIV FEVER (2)

... #ok *rolls eyes*. Honestly, I truly am not a Doctor.

I looked back at my ‘rainbow girl’. Ordinarily, I would dial fashion police (if they were into real cases) stating a major reason for an arrest. But then, these things happen every other day. So, I just let sleeping dogs lie. Hoping I won’t set my eyes on another disaster, before the day runs out. And that RARELY happens.

Come to think of it, do I blame these folks?? Most of ‘em only wear what they see on screen sirens and fashion/runway shows. And they can’t make a distinction on “what” should be worn to “where”, “how” and “why” it should be worn.

In my own opinion, it just gets harder to comprehend what goes on in the minds of these people when they dress up, look into the mirror, view their reflection and nod their heads.

Concerned as many of us are, we can’t recommend any permanent cure to this ‘fever’ because more eye-popping, intriguing cases pop up as soon as we think we are done with the worst. It doesn’t have to spread, because it is built in every one of us. From my observations, even the best dressed have their bad days.

You should know that most of the proper dressing tips are developed based on your discretion and a lot of self-help (reading fashion/style tips here and there, selecting and sticking to the ones that best suit your physique and preference) will definitely go a long way.

Nevertheless, helpful solutions are even much closer than you think.

DITCH THE PRIDE, ONE MAN DOESN’T MAKE A TREE. Your best opinion could even come from the next person you don’t usually ask for help. There’s nothing wrong with a: “Hey, what do you think about this shirt/top/pants/shoes/combo?” or “I’m sorry to bother you, but does this outfit seem appropriate for…...?” With an opinion from a friend, neighbour, roomie, colleague…. maybe even your driver, you could avert an embarrassing day. Even when everyone at the breakfast table gives u this stare as soon as you open the room door. But you think “IT MUST WORK”, so you don’t even have the ‘humility’ to ask them what their reason for the silent disgust is. Trust me, you don’t wanna bump into an old classmate (you’ve probably been planning to impress for the past 10years- LOL) on that ‘ROYGBIV fever’ day??

DO NOT MIS-INTERPRET A DESIGNERS’ CONCEPT, thinking it could go for a regular wear. That advert or combo was probably put together to attract your attention. And it will be painful to spend a whole lot of money and still show-up looking so mis-understood.

Also, LEARN WHEN TO GIVE UP! You try out a particular combo and you just don’t feel right about it. Or there seems to be something amiss. Just because it felt right in your mind’s eye, doesn’t make it perfect in reality. And you walk out the door, committing a fashion crime, with every step you take. It could easily have been avoided!!

NOT ALL STAGE OR PERFORMANCE OUTFITS CAN BE WORN REGULARLY. Always remember this whenever you want to mimic an artiste’s style. It was probably so colorful and daring, to keep your eyes glued to the stage or video.

However, there is no permanent cure to the ROYGBIV fever. But I can assure you that there are tips you can improve on, to avoid this recurrence. And you can be sure your girl will bring them to your notice, ASAP.

Love, Mary

THE CRITIC-AL’ SERIES...

Introducing Mary… Follow the series J

ROYGBIV FEVER (1)

On a beautiful sunny afternoon, a perfect day for my flowery mini dress (shorts underneath) and cavalli sun glasses,I’m going to have lunch with my friends when …… I spot her. She steps out of the car in all her glamorous colours and hell is let loose: ‘WTH??!! *%#$ Who let jack out of the box????’ Ok? I tried to ignore the fact that she was ebony black and her hair was a battle of colours and mind my own business . But as she came closer, I could not help but notice she was wearing a striped top and a print skirt and the colours, patterns and designs were all muddled up. I believe, my friends, I saw another ROYGBIV .

In elementary school, ROYGBIV was an abbreviation used to help children memorize the rainbow colours in their right sequence - Meaning RedOrangeYellowGreenBlueIndigoViolet. And now, I think the rainbow has family on Earth. They have taken part of their genetic composition (specifically ‘the simultaneous combination of many brilliant colours’) and molded it into a fashion trend, fit for them ONLY. And this trend has modified itself, over time, in various symptoms, into a fever. I have called it: The ROYGBIV fever.

And the varying symptoms of this ROYGBIV fever symptoms I have personally diagnosed, are probably just out of my own curious criticism.

Firstly (I think), the patient begins to feel like he/she isn’t appearing as ‘glamorous’ as he/she is supposed to. And then the urge to do something different and create this whole new ‘thing’ starts whirling up. “I can’t just keep going with the trend I see”, “I must be on something that makes everyone go ‘WOW!’ today”, “Why don’t I create a trend that would give more stirs on the side-walk, in the bus or on the train?” A ‘scientist’ sits and thinks of creating an innovation and this is the birth of a chaotic dream. However, this diagnosis may vary in people. It could happen abruptly or a decision taken over a period of time.

Then, they begin to put stuff together. The greens and blues and violets and oranges….. In stripes, prints, plains and patterns…… You could also spot some designs..... Flowers, animal prints, popular designer patterns in the midst of mixed and matched colours……

Afterwards, they feel this ‘urge’ to share their new discovery. They would often sit and dream about how people around will nod in approval at their new discovery and are always in anticipation to share this ‘trend’.

Then, there is this sudden boldness that comes with the anticipation. And the deed is done. They are spotted in all glamorous colours and they have this feeling of satisfaction written all over their face, like they have suddenly accomplished something. This illness, as diagnosed, can be temporary (like a one-night stand) or regular (a daily routine). No one is above contamination. (to be cont…)

So count on me and watch this space.

Love, Mary