They say the world is turning into one global village. How easily will that happen?
Interracial and intercultural relationships are hard work. Relationships on their own, are hard work. So when you have to cut across race and Nationalities, it becomes even harder work. The cultural differences, societal interference and even the basic culture shock.
For a typical African like me, (typical meaning very, traditional and fundamental) you can only imagine my shock when I went on this first date with a (I’d like to make this interesting and say dashingly handsome, but no) average looking, tall English guy.
We had agreed to meet at a bowling parlor in South East London for 8pm and naturally, I got there late. I arrived 9pm and apologized. He was the sweetest thing ever, as he did not seem to mind at all. He said it was fine and even joked about how I made him do some spontaneous shopping while waiting for me. I thought “oh wow! He is so not African. He’s not mad that I came late” We strolled into the bowling place and even though I described him as “Average looking”, he had really nice eyes and something corky about the way he smiled and laughed.
He asked if we should get some drinks before bowling and I agreed to it. We got there and he was staring at me. I figured that meant “Order your drink young lady” so I did. After the bar tender brought me my drink, he smiled at me in an even corkier, and this time, annoying way. So I asked for the cost, reached for the purse in my purse and swiftly paid. It was then he made his order. We walked away from the bar and started talking about god knows what. I really wasn’t paying attention because I couldn’t get my mind away from the awkwardness at the bar.
Then we went bowling. He paid for the first round, and after we played and it was so much fun, he asked if I thought we should go for another. I agreed to it. He walked to the till, then back at me. Then said the worst words I heard the entire week –“Do you have five quid. I figure, if you get this next game, I could get us drinks later” SAY WHAT??? He wants me to split a bill of six flimsy pounds with him? I was affronted! I reached in my purse, and I have never pulled out money any faster in my life! I pulled out a ten pounds note and gave it to him. Then we played.
So here’s the thing: He did not only ask that I gave him a fiver, but had the moral fiber to explain that if I got this he would get us drinks later? Oh my word!
Now this is where culture shock comes in. As a fundamental Nigerian, I believe I know all there is to know about a woman fending for herself and not waiting for a man to put food in her mouth, yadayadayada… However, I am not going on a date where he asks me to give five pounds for the bowling game. That is N1,250!!! Are you freaking kidding me? While I am in no way implying that all English men demand five quid on a first date, I am also implying that no Nigerian man, in his right senses will ask you for a thousand Naira on a first date. He would rather say to you to excuse him, if need be, and go hustle that 1k somehow.
The average Nigerian man is proud and full of ego. He may not treat his woman with all the respect, or carry her as an egg, but he would do all he can to impress her.
The world is turning into a global village they say. In several years time, some people have predicted, we would have only one race –Mixed race. But how is that possible with all these barriers than seem too strong for even love, which is the greatest conqueror, to pull down?
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