I'VE GOT THE SOLUTION - notindey...

I’m always unable to carry out most of what I’ve set out to do. Need I ask why? Yet still…

I hope.

I say that word always in a subtle dismissive tone because I know that I’ve said that very word probably a thousand times just after I’ve told myself that I’ll try and do as I’d wanted to.

I sigh.

A gesture followed shortly as my mind gave way and I gave in to the serenity of the fall...

I dive.

My free fall, my brain has just registered that I’ve yet again been unable to keep to my frail words…. Oh how frail they are…

My words all blown up with the wind with all ease as I fall, I float as the wind behind my back directs, I fly as the current soars…

I fall for all that it took to let my unstable life and mind frame work. I sway and let the forbidden take hold of me and eat me through and through...

For all that my unsure footing can take from the sandy soil where it sadly stood.

Damn! Get a hold of yourself! I can’t! I can’t!!

I scream.

Shouts from the hollows created from dirty hours spent in making me better.

I cry.

Tearless slipperiness flows down my cheeks.

I ache.

Love, pain and hate surges through my mindless body as I heat the wind.

I jerk back to reality and snatch my falling self harshly away.

Crazed.

I smile at my new haggardy zig-zagardy bruise running across my shoulder and down my spine.

I love me and I hate me. I want to reshape me. I want to fit in.

Wait! I’ve forgotten what the heck I was aiming to do in the first place and worst still I’ve forgotten who I was… stuck in the middle and right at the edge…

I fall.